A new Star

Just like the discovery of a new constellation, Ophiuchus, the Liga contenders has recently seen Tricky Trees outscoring all of the 38 teams to take the Week 1 lead, including last season champions, LSC.

An independent observer said "LSC poor start could be due to the fact that they do not have the unlimited purse to spend as in previous season. They have to be prudent now and to actually use their limited football knowlegde to pull a team together. They are now 38 teams in the league - out of which at least half of that are seasoned campaigners. Even Ladbrokes have got heavy odds stacked against them to make the top 5."

When reached for comment, the manager for Tricky Trees with tongue in cheek said "It's tough when reality bites and when your selection doesn't pay off. When you're a durian, petai and belacan munching local, it shows. Everyone wants to be an Italian ... even a Albanian refugee turns out in a Pizza Hut commercial as an Italian. LSC should know their place - when they should speak and when they should clam up and accept they just weren't good enough. Special one? They should take a leaf from the Jose Mourinho book of humility and hear what he has to say post-Wigan. It's too early for all this thrash talk. Show your worth, engage the brain then the mouth".